My Fast and Furious Life
by PunkiGurli
Summary: After the movie everything is getting back to normal but Mia isn't coping too well. This is her diary. Some bad language. Bit soppy at the moment.
1. This is my life now

~~~~Disclaimer! I do not own any of these characters.~~~~  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Well, today was interesting. Dom asked Letty to marry him. He did it over a car! Ha! That's Dom all over. They were both working on Dom's supra and while he was working under the bonnet, and she was lying underneath the car, he just came out with it. It wasn't very romantic but when has my brother ever been the romantic type? It's nice to see everyone celebrating after all that shit with the trucks. But less about that.  
  
I know I should be happy, and I am really, but it all just hurts too much. The thought of love and being with someone forever. Everything still reminds me of him. I miss him so much. And it was his old supra that they were working on and I cant walk in there and see it without thinking how it might be if he were still here with me.  
  
Sometimes I don't know how I feel. Angry because he was deceitful, upset because he only got to know me through lies and pretending to be someone he was not, someone who wasn't trying to put my brother in jail. I wonder if he really did love me or not. I mean, why would he? He only set out to use me in the first place. Surely his motives didn't change. But then I remember that he did change, he turned into one of us. He didn't turn the gang in. It all rested on him really didn't it and he stuck by his new friends. But not anymore, he left. I try to tell myself that he couldn't possibly have stayed because of all that had gone on, but he left me and if he loved me how could he? It's been 4 months now. I didn't even get a goodbye. Oh fucking listen to me, I'm going on about that shit when its all over and there really is no point in crying and I should really just get over it and its been a happy day here really. With Dom and Letty.  
  
I am happy for them, really happy. They deserve a bit of happiness. It's been such a good atmosphere here in the house. Corona's flowing and music pumping. And I beat Vince at GT! Ha! The house is still full downstairs but I needed to get away, just enough alcohol always makes me thoughtful. That's about the only time I have written in here recently, because after that, more alcohol just gets me smashed and I crash out. The alcohol has soothed the pain. Oh fuck this, I might go and join them again. I promise I'll be happier tomorrow night, after the hangover of course.  
  
All my love Diary, Mia xxx 


	2. The effects of alcohol

~~~~Disclaimer! I do not own any of these characters.~~~~  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
Owwwww, my head! Someone should stop me. I mean, they know that I have been drinking a lot since Brian left. They know I need escape but maybe I do go too far sometimes. I would need a guardian angel to help me through this without alcohol. But I bet that whoever is up there has enough problems on his/her hands to help me. I can get through this, I know I can. I think, from now on, I'll try and not drink as much, maybe get Letty to stop me or something.  
  
It's so cool that Dom and Letty are gonna get married. I mean, it was inevitable but it's cute. Everything is finally starting to get back to normal now, and we are all carrying on with our lives. I mean, Jesse is out of hospital at last (luckily, we were so worried. The doctors said that if I hadn't of been right there and called the ambulance straight away then we could have lost him), and Vince is coping. Letty and Leon came back, I knew they would once they heard that Brian had not turned anyone in and Dom had not gone. I'm so happy that the team didn't split up, these guys are my family and I can't imagine life without them.  
  
Anyway, I spent most of today nursing my head and being pumped with coffee. Most people were hung over, there were people all over the place, still sleeping, when I eventually woke up at about 3pm. The only people up were Dom and Letty, they seem like they are on another planet at the moment, as if they are way above us in the clouds. It's so sweet. It goes against both of their characters to show this much affection, they didn't even bother to scrape the people off the floor this morning. Letty usually gives them 10 seconds to get out before she kicks three shades of shit through them, or so she tells them. They never stick around to find out. Ha!  
  
Oh, shouldn't laugh, it hurts. Damn, my head. It's my fault. I have never been through a patch in my life like this. It was Vince who got me drunk the first time, he said it would make me feel better. I have a feeling he was trying to take advantage but there were too many people around who know I'd never think of him like that. They kept coming over and taking my coronas away, trying to give me coffee, and when that failed, Dom came and sat in between us. The look on his face was hilarious. I would have never done anything with Vince. I know he likes me but he's too, how can I put this?..too much of a tough guy, a thug. And far too stupid, lovable, but stupid.  
  
I need to go now and have a nice relaxing bath, with loads of bubbles and maybe a book. Mmmmmm. Yes, that's what I'll do. And I don't care if Letty and Dom want sex in the shower, they can go to the garage, or use the bed like normal people. That'll be the day!  
  
Talk soon Diary, Mia xxx 


	3. Alone

Before I continue, I'd just like to say Thank You princessdelta, you have really inspired me in this one! Love ya sis!!  
  
~~~~Disclaimer! I do not own any of these characters.~~~~  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
There have been others,  
  
Who've come and gone.  
  
You left forever,  
  
You were the one.  
  
Kisses and cuddles,  
  
All in the past,  
  
And for a short time,  
  
I thought it would last.  
  
First I was angry,  
  
Then in denial,  
  
But feelings come back,  
  
To fade the fake smile.  
  
My tears on the floor,  
  
Forgetting the rage.  
  
Heart broken in two,  
  
And spilled on the page.  
  
This kinda sums up what's been on my mind all day. At home, at the store, at the garage. What makes it shitty is that I know I can't reach him. He must want to talk to me again, see me. If he loved me. If he still loves me.  
  
Forget all the cop crap! He needs to be here, he belongs with us. He's one of us and he knows it. Dom knows it, Leon knows it, shit, even Vince knows it. It was right for him to leave then, but it's time to come back and I wish I could tell him.  
  
This is about the time that I would reach for a corona. I don't even feel like doing that today, I can't move from this bed. I think I'll just sleep. Then I'll be able to see him, like I do every night. It's like he haunts me in the day and comforts me at night. I just want him back. Is that too much to ask?  
  
Night Diary, Mia xxx  
  
~~~~This is a short one I know but it will get better I promise!!~~~ 


End file.
